While I Was Waiting
At 4:30 a.m. my alarm awakens me, right on time. An unusually early wake-up call, Tim has a 6:30 a.m. arrival time for a scheduled eye surgery. So I hoist myself into my wheelchair, start the coffee, and hop into the shower. After a quick bite to eat, I pour some coffee into my thermal to-go cup, grab a book, and off we go.
Once Tim is called back for surgery, I take a few deep breaths and settle in for the next three hours. I’m not used to such an early morning, so I sit back and close my eyes. The book I grabbed at the last minute is on my lap, book marked on the page where I left off. Months ago, I set it aside to finish up some writing projects. And then I began reading Theo of Golden, so of course, all my reading was put on hold to finish that amazing book.
When I eventually open my eyes, a few sips of coffee jolt me into a more awakened state as I reach for Two Steps Forward, by Sharon Garlough Brown. It’s the second book in a four-part series about spiritual formation. Four women who meet at a spiritual retreat center begin a sacred journey together, traveling deep into the heart of God. I pick up the story where one of the women is in the middle of an intensely difficult situation and she’s meeting with her college professor.
“How might the Lord be using this situation to form you?”, he asks. “You’re being stretched and opened to grace in ways you’ve never experienced before. God is doing something new. But it takes real courage to trust that God is at work to shape and form you. No matter what happens, take heart. The Lord is near.”
I sit with that for a while and let it sink in. This is so true. This is exactly how God works. He uses everything that happens to us to form us and shape us into the people He wants us to become. It’s not always easy. Sadly, real spiritual growth and transformation never seems to happen when all is well, but rather in the trenches of everyday challenging life experiences.
My phone suddenly rings, startling me out of my deep contemplation. “Everything went very well, just as planned”, the doctor explained. “Tim did great. He’ll be ready to go in about thirty minutes. Your job is to get him safely home, give him a sandwich and the remote control. No lifting, bending or straining for the next week.” I assured him I would carry out my assignment with excellence.
Once we were home and Tim was comfortable, a dear friend asked to stop by and drop off a loaf of her homemade sourdough bread. How can I say no to that? It’s the best sourdough bread ever. My Ring doorbell lets me know when she arrives. Upon opening the door, I immediately notice her eyes are watery. Wiping tears off her face, she explains, “This summer we have to say goodbye to a house that’s been in our family for the past sixty years. So much of life happened in this house. It’s been so hard letting go of so many treasured items over the past six months.”
The words I read in my book just hours earlier quickly come to my mind. Gently, I begin to ask her questions similar to the ones the college professor asked the woman in the story. “How might God be using this experience to shape you and form you into the person He made you to be? You’ve been stretched and open to grace in ways you never thought possible. As you open your hands to let go of your house, might He want to fill them with something new? Can you trust Him, no matter what happens? Take heart, dear friend. The Lord is with you. He’s not forgotten you.”
“How is it that you always know exactly what to say?” she cried.
“I don’t”, I confessed. “I just read these words three hours ago while I was sitting in the waiting room during Tim’s eye surgery.”
Who knew the words I read in the book I set aside for months would be the very words my friend needed to hear at this particular moment in time? Certainly not me! But God did. He knew. He was right there, unexpectedly leaving His fingerprints in my ordinary, everyday life while I was waiting in the surgical waiting room.
Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.
Genesis 28:16
